Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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