i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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