is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
last night I used snow as a chaser
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize