guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
