you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
