Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
