How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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