I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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