im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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