i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
