so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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