you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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