I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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