The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
