i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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