I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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