Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
