white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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