The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
