Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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