Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
