Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize