Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
