overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
