you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
