Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She bit a glass in half.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
