So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize