If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I touched a dick in church today
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize