This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
