yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
