And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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