the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
