I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
