actually, I'm a sock model
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
