I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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