Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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