Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
