how can u be prego again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
