I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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