I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
