porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
