And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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