i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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