You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
