Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and she was petting her beer can
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
