i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
