so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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