I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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