Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
