There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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