i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
