So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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