if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
