Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
