i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
