i barfeds in our rink
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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