We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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