Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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