hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
