I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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