Don't you send me to vm
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
