idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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