help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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