He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
