Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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