she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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