Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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