I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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