Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
