I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
