Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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