if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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