it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
